This Night Is Ours
by Kazo Sakamari
Summary: The Black Brothers have a lot of issues, but no matter what they are still brothers, bound in blood. Sirius and Regulus find time to talk about things, avoid talking about things, and just remember what it was like when they were still a family. Because they know, that whatever happens, it's going to end up being the Black Brothers against the world.


Okay, so this is my first Harry Potter fanfiction, please review it! I'd love to hear what people think!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot line.

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His steps were slow, heavy. His whole body ached and he stumbled forward, barely catching himself on the handrail, saving himself for a long and painful fall to the base of the tower.

"Merde." He whispered as his knee hit the corner of the hard stone steps, "That's going to leave a bruise."

He pulled himself up slowly, muscles protesting as he did so and continued his trek to the top of the astronomy tower.

The heavy wooden door swung open without a sound, yet somehow he felt that his presence was known. It took him a moment to find what he was looking for, the dark silhouette blending in with the darkness. The sky was black and there was little light except for twinkling stars and the sliver of the pale moon glowing above their heads. Grimacing, he noted that it was a clear night, making the world around them seem even blacker.

It struck him as funny that they would meet here, underneath the stars that they were named after, and he stifled a laugh. Regulus was sure that his brother knew he was here, yet Sirius didn't bother to move, his back remaining turned to him.

He sat on the edge of the astronomy tower, legs dangling off, slumped carelessly against the cold rock, his cigarette smoking between his lips, long black hair framing a pale, shallow face, his haunted grey eyes staring out into darkness.

'My eyes,' Regulus thought to himself as he always did when he looked into his brother's eyes, 'We've always had the same eyes.'

It was times like these that Regulus wondered how close his brother really was to the edge, to crossing that line that he was constantly flirting with. He knew Sirius was under pressure, the war was taking its toll on him. Their family was taking its toll on him. His friends were taking their toll on him. And well, he knew how Sirius dealt with pressure. Badly.

Drinking, sex, drugs…and pain.

Regulus had known for awhile, he had always known, just never wanted to believe, to realize. He had felt the scars on his brother's body, watched him clean the blood off the bathroom floor, helped him heal the bruises and the cuts. He could see it in his brother's eyes sometimes, the emptiness, the hopelessness, the pain.

Regulus feared his brother's eyes, the darkness he saw there. It scared him, it wasn't supposed to be there, it never should be there. Not in Sirius' eyes. All he wanted was for that darkness to go away, but now he found himself wondering if it was even possible for it to go away as he watched his brother's shoulders shake slightly.

Sirius who had always seemed to be so strong, but who was really so weak, so lost, so afraid. Just another scared little boy, like the one he never truly got to be. Like the one neither of them got to be.

Regulus moved silently over to him, carefully arranging himself on the ledge so that he wouldn't fall.

"Hey." He whispered, wishing he could speak with more authority, wishing he could make his voice strong and comforting, like Sirius could always do for him, instead of fearful and wavering like it sounded now.

"Hey." Sirius peered at him from behind his shaggy hair, carefully taking in the sullen look that his younger brother wore, the dark rings under his eyes, the way his cheekbone protruded more than they should have, the thin white scar on his chin that hadn't been there the last time Sirius had seen him.

"Smoke?" He asked, pulling one thin cigarette from a crumpled box and offering it to his brother.

"Thanks." muttered Regulus, starting to dig around for his lighter in his pockets, only to have Sirius reach over and light his cigarette for him. He took a long drag and nodded his thanks, Sirius only giving a half hearted smile in return.

"Drink?" Regulus asked, pulling a large bottle of firewhiskey out of his robes, offering it to his brother who examined it wearily before taking a long gulp, his face contorted into a grimace as the liquid burned his throat.

Watching his brother silently Regulus leaned over and snatched the bottle from Sirius before taking a long gulp of his own, relishing the burning sensation.

"I heard what happened."

Sirius looked up at him with dark eyes, his expression caught halfway between surprise and expectation.

"So did I." He replied nodding toward Regulus' wrist, whose hands were curled protectively around the bottle, cigarette dangling from his mouth. There was a long moment of silence, broken only by Sirius' rattled breathing, his shoulders shaking gently again.

"I think I broke a rib this time," was his explanation to Regulus' concerned glance.

"You got into a fight with Mulciber, you know he fights dirty…You were baiting him too, with those comments about his girlfriend."

Sirius gingerly touched his bruised stomach with a pained smirk.

"I know, I was counting on it…"

"You really should stop fighting." Sirius looked away shrugging.

"Why? It helps."

The younger boy sighed and passed the firewhiskey to his brother again, a comfortable silence blanketing the two once again.

"You're not like him." Sirius laughed, a dark sound that seemed to split the air as it came.

"Who? Dad?" Regulus nodded, cursing himself for sounding so small.

"You're a better man than him Sirius, you always have been." Sirius laughed louder, tossing his head back, long hair blowing in the breeze and Regulus suppressed a shiver, his brother sounded too much like Bella for his liking.

"If I am a better man than him, then why do I screw up? Why do ruin everything I touch? Why am I a failure? Tell me that little king…tell me that."

"You don't ruin everything Sirius…you never have."

"Tell that to Remus then. Tell that to James and see what they say. Tell that to Snivellius." There was a bitterness in his voice that hadn't been there a second ago, a bitterness that shouldn't have been there at all. Sirius was far too young to speak in that tone of voice, far too young to have seen what he had seen and endured what he had endured.

"No one gives a shit what Professor Cuttingham thinks, you shouldn't listen to him Sirius. He was just trying to rile you up, just working out his issues with our family."

"Why not? He obviously has enough evidence stacked against me to condemn me to Azkaban already. And it's not like he's wrong about any of it. We've all done what they've said we have. No matter if we deny it or not." Regulus sighed, his brother, sometimes so cheerful and happy, could be a terrible pessimist sometimes.

"But Sirius, it's different for us. You never meant any of it, and just because he said you're like Dad doesn't mean-it doesn't mean you are Sirius. He's just an old dirt bag, he doesn't know shit about you."

"Sure. Because I never meant any of it right? Because it's not like I lose my temper and try to kill people right?" There was a crazed laugh behind those words, a scared laugh.

"Sirius…"

"What?" His tone was sharp, like their mothers and Regulus grimaced. He didn't come here to have a row with his brother. He came here to make sure he still had a brother.

"I miss you." Regulus muttered, running a hand through his hair. "It's so…so fucking empty without you. I hate it." He stopped himself from going on by downing another mouthful of whiskey.

"I hate it." He paused, before recklessly continuing, the alcohol beginning to take effect. "It used to be you and me Sirius, us against the world, and we were winning." His voice sounded scratchy now, raw and he took a breath trying to steady himself.

"…and now it's the world against us, and we've already lost." Sirius finished for him, letting out a ring of smoke. There was a comfortable silence, broken only by the sounds of the forbidden forest until Sirius spoke again.

"Why'd you do it?" They both knew what "it" was, Sirius eyes searching for the faintest glimpse of the black ink as he reached over to pull the bottle out of his brother's thin fingers.

Regulus shivered, not from the cold, but from his brother's dead tone of voice, the emptiness of his gray eyes.

"I dunno, fuck Sirius…I don't even fucking know. Mom and Dad kept talking about it and Bella was there with Lucius and shit…I don't know."

Sirius rubbed his cigarette stub into the ground with the tip of his boot and pulled out another, draping his arm around Regulus, pulling him close.

"Yeah you do. You're too damn smart to do something without reason little king."

"Yeah, sure, because that's what everyone says about me right?" Both of them knew that what 'everyone,' mainly their parents, said about Regulus. That no matter how much of a screw up Sirius was, at least he had something to screw up, Regulus was nothing compared to his brother. They were heir and the spare. Sirius' hand tightened on his brother's shoulder as if to offer support and reassurance as to what was going through Regulus' mind.

"No. That's what I say about you, and I'm always right little brother."

"We're not brothers Sirius. We're not even family anymore." Snapped Regulus, his annoyance at his older counterpart for being so damn perfect starting to peak through but he bit back on it, knowing that it was that pressure to be perfect that caused Sirius to wander so close to the edge of the astronomy tower at late hours of the night. Forcing himself to remember that Sirius had never asked for any of this, never wanted it, and now, no longer had it.

The letter had come last week, the official disownment of Sirius Orion Black. They had both gotten a copy, both found one another on the Quidditch pitch after curfew, drunk and bleeding, tears running down their faces as they slumped down on the grass together, trying to remember the times when their lives hadn't been dictated by blood and politics. Trying to remember what it was like to feel loved, to feel happiness. Clutching one another as if they were the last ties to the living world that they had.

"You think I give a shit what they say? You think I ever gave a shit Reg? We're family, I'm as sure of it as I am that the bloody moon is in the sky." Regulus breathed a little easier, rubbing his hand on the stark black ink on his arm, the topic avoided for the moment.

He said nothing for a long time, gazing at the silver moon that glowed in the sky.

"Sirius…what happens when you finally go too far…you know…when you go over the edge?" Sirius stiffened, his identical gray eyes betraying so much unspoken pain, so many dark disturbing thoughts that Regulus flinched away from his brothers gaze.

"I don't know…I can't…I mean…I don't know if I'm going to make it out in one piece this time." Sirius shivered and wrapped his arms tightly around himself.

"I've…I've spent so much time fighting, fighting our parents, the school, my friends, everything…I think…I think I forgot to fight for me…I don't know who I am anymore Reggie…I just…" Sirius trailed off, grabbing the bottle from Regulus downing the rest of the whiskey is a single go.

"I won't leave you Reggie. I promise." This time it was Regulus grey eyes which betrayed the pain.

"You already did." As soon as the words left his mouth he wished he could take them back, for his brother's body shook so violently that Regulus was afraid he would fall apart right then and there.

"I'm sorry Reg, I'm so sorry. I should have taken you with me."

"No, Sirius…don't say that…I wouldn't have come." There was silence again, Sirius' body still shaking, his breathing ragged.

"I know." It was a horse whisper and it made Regulus shiver. Sirius sounded so…lost, not like Sirius at all.

"She cried after you left, you know. And she still asks about you sometimes."

"Dad doesn't though." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, and they both knew it was true. Regulus looked away, not wanting to meet his brother's eyes again.

"No he doesn't." Sirius' shoulders shook again, but only for a second.

"What do you tell her?"

"Mostly that you're off fucking more muggle-born whores." Sirius gave a wet laugh and Regulus felt his heart lighten, it felt good to know that he could still make his brother laugh. Sirius pulled out another cigarette, vanishing the old stub with a flick of his wand.

He let out another little chuckle, "Remember when we lit Cissy's dress on fire at Christmas?"

Regulus smiled. "And she got so mad she lost control and blew up the chandelier in the foyer by accident,"

"And then she chased us all over the house and we ended up hiding from her in the attic,"

"But then _you_ had to go to the bathroom," accused Regulus and Sirius just shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Hey, when nature calls, nature calls."

Regulus rolled his eyes, "we tried to sneak out through the window in Mum's powder room,"

"But then _you_ got stuck on the rain gutter," This time it was Sirius who accused his brother, but the smile never left his face. "And _I_ had to run for help."

The two burst in hysterical laughter at their escapades when they were children.

"You know Reg," Sirius spoke after a moment, his voice quiet again, his long pale fingers gently pulling up his brother's left sleeve, softly tracing the black tattoo that was burnt into Regulus' flesh. "You're always going to be my brother."

His touch sent shivers down Regulus' spine, his stomach lurching at the contact, his body aching for it, wishing silently, for Sirius cold fingers to wrap themselves around his small body, for his brothers arms to hold him tightly, yet he didn't move, he couldn't move, instead he chose to watch Sirius face, watch as his eyes betrayed the emotions he had been taught to conceal all his life. For a moment his brother looked angry, livid and Regulus could see that darkness that Sirius kept pent up inside him wash over his face.

"If anyone hurts you…I'll kill them. I'll fucking kill them Reg."

"Even if it was Potter and his crew?" Sirius' eyes flickered with something that Regulus couldn't identify, something dark stirring in their depts.

"If they lay a single hand on you, I will make them regret it. They may be my friends Reg, my best friends, but you're my blood, you're my little king." His face said that he was telling the truth, yet for some reason Regulus wasn't sure, he wanted reassurance, love, he wanted to hear his brother say the words aloud once more.

"Really?"

Sirius smiled a grim smile. "Remember when you were fourteen, and you hexed Evans and Marlene?" Regulus nodded. "And Jamie and Peter hexed you back, and stuck you in the hospital wing for two days?" Regulus nodded again, not sure where this was heading.

"And remember how when I came to visit you, James came in too, with a broken nose?"

Regulus made a little noise, "You did that?" Sirius nodded, black hair falling in front of his face.

"Why?"

"Because. James is my best friend, but he hexed my little brother. And no one touches my little brother and gets off clean." He said it simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Regulus ran a hand through his hair, digesting this new information.

"Sirius…" Regulus trailed off as his brother grabbed his chin, forcing Regulus to look at him. When he spoke, the words were soft, caring, showing the side of his brother that Regulus had always known was there, yet rarely got to see.

"Listen to me little king. No matter what side you're on, you will always be my little brother, and merlin knows if anyone hurts you, I will kill them. Slowly and painfully." Sirius' voice was earnest and it broke near the end, his eyes shining with love for once, instead of pain and Regulus smiled, because he knew now, Sirius was telling the truth.

This time, when Regulus spoke his voice didn't waver, it was soft, but he didn't mind, he clutched his brother's wrists tightly, running his fingers softly across the thin scars that crisscrossed Sirius' arms, as if afraid that if he let go, Sirius would fall from the earth and he would lose him forever.

"And no matter what side you're on Sirius you'll always be my older brother, if anyone hurt you," Regulus paused for a moment, he wasn't a killer, he knew that, but he was just as dangerous as his older brother, just…in different way. "Shit Sirius, I don't know what I'd do…I'd destroy their life, I'd make them wish they were dead, make them wish they had never been born."

Sirius nodded and carefully pried Regulus hands from his wrists, holding them tightly in his own hands lacing their fingers together.

The two brothers smiled at each other. And for a brief moment it was as though they were children again, the Black Brothers against the world.

Sirius took another drag on his cigarette and leaned a little heavier against his younger brother who had slumped against him, his fear of falling long forgotten, knowing that Sirius was still there to catch him, just like he always had been. Together they held one another up, the black skies open above them, the stars they were named after glittering in the darkness.

For a few moments, they were at peace, happy just to be together, to be brothers, despite all that had happened. Despite all that would happen. They were together, and together nothing could tear them apart.

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Well, I hope people liked it! And I hope you all review, because I really really would like to hear what everyone thinks about my take on the Black Brothers. So...REVIEW! Please.


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